Sandstorms, Michelle Obama, & “Get Off My Lawn"
I pride myself on having been in hella different weather conditions and natural disasters, but I never guessed I’d wake up to a weather report saying “sand”. I looked out the window and lightweight thought they misspelled “fog” until I stepped outside w/ the fam and 5 dirt particles immediately had no chill w/ my left eye causing me to unmanly whimper. (Who knew Dubai was built on a desert? Go figure.) Anyway, I chewed on some dirt as I learned my mouth doesn’t fully close, and then hopped on one of those “tour the city” busses that #SquadAARP usually hordes in. (Random side note: Why do they always have a digital camera, not realizing that their phone has an app for that?) We saw monstrous buildings with bold architecture behind veils of dirt as we braved the open air on the top deck of the bus to which Asha Morrow said the sandstorm provided a full exfoliation. As we proceed...
Got off in the Gold Souk district which basically has window displays of full torso gold pieces that would make Slick Rick blush. Junk was dumb (see pic). As most folks wandered through shopping in relative peace, every store owner ran up on us w/ a lil card asking us to buy goods. At first, I thought it was b/c I “look like money”, but changed my stance when a) they kept saying the word “fake” before Gucci and Vuitton b) rolled up on my sister, Asha T.V. Morrow, who’s on her natural hair journey, but is currently rocking the Seabiscuit, asking her if she wanted that Brazilian and c) saying every lady I was with looked like Michelle Obama (despite age, size, and you know, looks). It was then I realized we were the only black folks in the market and this pitch must have been taught in the Dubai Open Air Marketing classes they attended. Nah bruh bruh, now back up before I really fit your stereotype and snatch yo’ 23 karats and kick over your saffron rack. (No worries. This isn’t a prejudiced remark. There really were hella racks holding saffron.)
I later caught up w/ the long time, ultra dope choreographer and friend, Yeya Ekstrom who moved up this way a second or 3 ago. She scooped me and drove off in the cut about 20 minutes to a small patch of grass. Why? B/c she had 2 puppies and the little grass there is in the main city of Dubai, you can’t touch. Yup...you heard that right, if there’s a park w/ grass, stay on the concrete b/c beings utilizing photosynthesis are a high commodity and only meant for viewing. (Did I mention that Dubai was built in the desert?) Anyway, later on, caught back up w/ fam, got some grub and ate some dope chicken tandoori and naan. Then, caught a cab, finally regained vision in my left eye, went to the top floor bar of the telli (which I believe is the tallest in the world), and laid it down for the night. A cool-like full day one complete.
Anyway, I’m unsure if I’m recap all (or any more) days, but for now, for more pics and vid, I’m rocking on @bigpiph on Instagram (stories) and Snapchat.