Unicorn Gallops, Lions Aint Beast-Beasts, & Emmanuel Wins
Let me state my ignorance off top. I’ve been to hella zoos, B. I’ve seen animals I’ve ridden, eaten, drawn in kindergarten, and thought were imaginary. (Who knew reindeer were real, bruh?) Although, it’s always cool like to see a new critter, I rarely get excited. I’ve also seen The Lion King hella times. Besides, lightweight rooting for Scar and strangely finding Nala attractive when she did that on the back playful paw thing-thing, I just figured it was a dope movie. However, not once during either of these activities, did I ever think I needed to hit up a safari. That was my bad...
The following are my quick takes after being immersed for 2 days in the Serengeti. I'm not saying the following is insightful or enlightening. I’m just telling you this is what I saw and how I felt.
The Bush is the Animal Diaspora
I don’t know, mane. I kinda thought that all the animals would be spread far apart. But within a short drive of about about half-a--mile radius, we peeped zebras, wildebeest, a rock jumper thingie (that looked delicious), impalas, and cheetahs. And we would just roll up within 10 feet of these awesome beasts and they would sit there and Kanye shrug. Plus, zebras and every type of galloping animal, just seemed...happy. I think it’s coming into their home vs. them being in a cage, but they would just frolic and prance on some “just because it’s Tuesday”. We immediately landed and peeped a grand world of God’s creations that I felt humbled to take in. Still, w/ that said, if ANY one of them thangs was on the menu for the night, pass the Louisiana. #FoodOverEverythang
Lions Be Lazy
(Proper English.) There were 3 of them sitting no more than 15 feet away from our jeep playing patty cake. The ambitious lady one was pimp strolling through some grass with over 100 wildebeest in rock throwing distance and...nothing happened. I mean, she got kinda close, but I learned them junks can’t run fast for too long b/c they get tired, so they really just wait for their prey’s short term memory to slip up and they wander to close. Now, I aint saying lions aren’t to be respected or powerful, but it’s like if I found out the WCW I was sneak stalking on IG really just sat around all day eating pork rinds and releasing various gases. Plus, when we started talking civil rights, she was like, “Huey who?”. I mean, I might still slip in the DMs after too much red on a Thursday, but would really just be praying she has an educated cousin.
(Lame, but I stuck w/ it. #confidence)
When I saw this majestic animal eating from the top of a tree and then raise its head w/ the sun in the distance, all I heard was “Welcome to Jurassic Park!” w/ the theme music in my head. I’m not saying this makes good sense, nor is important. However, you just read it, so there’s that.
Dung Beetles vs. Emmanuel
This half a baseball sized, choppa sounding creature flew into our moving jeep, shook it, fell behind a little, flew to catch up, dog whistled to his cousin, who then dung beetle dive bombed into the passenger side of the vehicle. This is real life, bruh. However, Emmanuel, our cool like charismatic driver, was realer. With one hand still on the wheel, he reached his left hand over, picked it up as I was pointing and (manly) shrieking, “What is that?!?”, looked at it, chuckled and said, “Oh, a dung beetle”, threw it out the car and mashed the gas never speaking on it again. Although Emmanuel was too friendly to say this, I could feel him thinking "These B.A. Americans". Honestly, I’m not sure I disagree w/ him.
Anyway, got the second half of the trip for ya’ll tomorrow. Also, if want to peep some more vid and pics check out my IG stories and snaps at @bigpiph