Window Shopping, Two Burjes, & A Milli for a Round
When you were younger, did you ever play the game “what would I buy w/ a million dollars”? Well, Dubai is that answer to that if you added 5 zeroes and really liked open toed shoes of both the designer and “nativity scene” variety.
Yesterday I strolled through the Dubai Mall, but wait...when I say “mall" think more GDP than trickin Christmas monies as this is the largest mall in the world. Anyway, due to a laughing emoji that occasionally replaces my checking account balance, I didn’t spend too much time in this aquarium having establishment, but had to walk through it get to the Burj Khalifa entrance (aka “the tallest building in the world” because you know, Dubai). So, I shot up to the top w/ my fam in the world's fastest elevator (Dubai again) and then looked out at the now dwarfed city. They then tried to sell us a photoshopped pic of my superimposed fam looking excited at the Burj building, but since we all have Snapchat filters, we chuckled and then opted to head back down to them streets instead.
Next, we decided to hit up Burj #2: Burj Al Arab. This is known as the hella nice, 7-star hotel and the structure everyone takes a pic by when they hit up Dubai. Anyway, this huge dope, big sail looking building had automated fountains, aquariums by the escalators, and an exclusive sky bar that we shot up to for some curry cashews and cheeseburger quarters that cost the price of a small child. (NOTE: Not a child you really like, but rather a kinda a frail, sticky, annoying kid.) Whatever though, because the view was dope, their noteworthy drinks were ordered and it was a good time. However, it is here I must note that they had 3 cocktails that were each over $1k. Ok. I’m not sure if you read that right, so I repeat: They had 3 possibly 4.3 oz drinks that each cost over $1,000.00 that would neither increase my virility nor my IQ. (In fact the latter may have decreased upon purchase.) So you know what I did, right? I ordered 1, jump-slapped the glass off of homeboy’s tray when he was bringing it to the table, screamed “RN Over Everythang” while doing a gang-gang sign, and ball jumped through the glass out the window while humming the entirety of No Limit’s discography on the way down. We ouchea mane...
Sooo...after you discount that delusion, I pretty much took the elevator back down, took a cab, promptly fell asleep (b/c jetlag’s a beast), and then bought a steak sandwich while chopping it up w/ my mom dukes. (Just know that in my head still, I slapped that drink though. #RNOE)